“Pray in the Spirit at all times. Pray with all kinds of prayers, and ask for everything you need. To do this you must always be ready. Never give up. Always pray for all of God’s people.” Ephesians 6:18 ERV
I recently started to pay attention to my first thoughts as soon as I wake up in the morning. Even when I wake up during the night. They are not usually positive. I wasn’t even aware of this. So now, having given my attention to this, I immediately capture the thoughts and start praying. I pray to God and thank Him for anything and everything. I thank Him for my husband whom I love second only to God, laying beside me. I thank Him for the blessing of responsibility for our children. I thank Him for His unconditional love for us and blessing us with everything that we have.
Too often we unconsciously move through life with our thoughts just running silently and constantly in the background. I believe this is why God speaks so much in His word about constant prayer. Prayer is a spiritual communication between us and God. If our thoughts are constantly on, and they tend to lean negative, by default, then it only makes sense to be in constant contact with our Creator to reshape those thoughts that, in turn, shape our lives.
“Don’t change yourselves to be like the people of this world, but let God change you inside with a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to understand and accept what God wants for you. You will be able to know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect.” Romans 12:2 ERV
How do we let God change us inside with a new way of thinking? I do not have it all figured out yet, but I will tell you this: I have witnessed in myself and my husband, the absolute strength of prayer. Talking with God throughout the day, and taking the time to get still (no distractions), asking Him earnestly for help and to guide us, has produced so much growth.
My husband Brad and I like to do this exercise where we say “6 months ago…” and we recall what life was like just 6 months prior. We are always amazed at what we came through, and where we are at now. I can clearly see the effects of our increased prayer life and Bible study. In a circumstance that would have led to a fight 6 months prior, now, more often, has us discussing the depths of our hearts and helping each other come to the conclusion of where our actions and emotions stem from. In frustration with parenting our children in a blended family, 6 months prior, we would have taken their behavior and mistakes personally. Now, more often, we can calmly instruct and guide them in the ways God instructs us to.
God sent me into an isolation several times in my life but it wasn’t until after some time into our marriage and the birth of our son together, that I realized what was going on.
Our business started to suffer leading us to the decision that I needed to stay home with our (then) 1 year old son. I started to struggle with depression, like I did when I was home with my first and second born. The feelings of being trapped with no purpose and no light at the end of the tunnel crept back in. I prayed more, I read the Bible more, I searched for and attended mom groups in churches, I cried on my husband’s shoulder when he would get home, I took walks pushing my son in the stroller, I listened to Lisa Bevere sermons and podcasts (she gets me fired up!), I reached out to the other moms on my street to walk with but was rejected, and still I could not shake the off and on depression. I read articles that stated this was just a part of being a stay at home mom. My family tried to help by suggesting I go back to work, but this was not what God wanted me to do. We moved out to our farm and I still struggled. I was so fed up with feeling depressed. I cried to my husband one day and he said “This is between you and God. I cannot help you. You have to go to Him.” And I hated that so much because I wanted my husband to help me and fix it.
But he was right. I had to run to the Father. So I ran, into our meadow, dropped to my knees, and cried my heart out to God. I pleaded with Him to help me and free me from this pain and suffering. I told Him that I didn’t understand it and that it was not fair. I was giving my all to Him (so I thought). I was doing all of the “right” things. I prayed, I read my Bible, I was a loving and faithful wife to my husband, I was a nurturing and attentive mother to our children, what else did He want from me?! And in my complete humility and desperation for God, He started speaking to me. A wave came over me like an influx of energy and peace, all at the same time. He started to speak to me about my heart and the things I was holding onto. He told me that He is all I need and that He is the one I need to worship and adore first, before my husband. I needed to forgive the transgressors in my past and not use the pain as an excuse to stay stuck in depression and anxiety. I needed to slow down and spend more time with Him, and obey Him.
I started to spend nap time practicing this exercise of 10 minutes with no distractions, eyes closed, deep breaths, and clearing my thoughts, asking God to speak to me. And, of course, true to His word, He spoke to me. He gave me answers to questions I had. He gave me peace about worries I had. He gave me messages to give to my husband. He gave me more joy and less stress.
Once I submitted to Him and started to give Him my all, not just a small part of my day, I was released from the spirit of depression that was holding me back.
“So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him make himself scarce. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.” James 4:7-10 MSG